Mindful Parenting

3 Things a Parent Should Not Say to a Kid

Reading this article reminded me of something I heard a couple of mothers say to their children a few weeks ago.
It was warm and sunny, a gorgeous day to be out and about and I was enjoying a local arts and produce market. Families were coming and going, enjoying the weather, the foods and the local arts and crafts.
As I was heading back to where I’d parked the car, I noticed a young child, perhaps 4 or 5 years old running along and running past her mother whom was sitting on a picnic rug on the grassy area next to the play ground.
The mother hearing the jingling in her daughters pocket, stopped her daughter then called her over and said, “Hey! Have you got money?”
“Yep” said the girl as her mother put her hand into her daughter’s pocket and pulled out the coins.
“Wow”, the mother said, “You’re rich!”
Smiling the mother put the coins back into her daughter’s pocket and the child skipped off again.

As I continued around the next corner approaching the back of my car, I overheard another woman interacting with her slightly older daughter.
The girl must have already been harping at her mother to purchase some trinket or another, as the straining small voice carried on, “Please mum, I really like it, can I have one?”
The girl’s mother responded, in a somewhat absent minded fashion, “No you can’t. It’s seven dollars, it’s just too expensive!”

Hearing these two different interactions within such a short period of time stood out for me and prompted me to write about it.
Take a moment to think about this yourself.
Think about the two different experiences of these two children, both relating to money and possibility for their future.
The first child had a positive experience with her mum who gave her attention as well as a positive message about money.
The second child was given an unpleasant experience of limitation and told that seven dollars was a lot of money.

Now I’m not suggesting that the second mother should have bought her daughter the seven dollar thing, or that the small amount of money in the first child’s pocket made her rich.
What I am suggesting is that being present to our children and to our interactions with our children can make all the difference in life.
As isolated incidences, these two experiences may not impact too dramatically on the children, however, as adults we are habitual beings and we behave in ways that form patterns of understanding in our children. It’s those patterns that imprint and form the beliefs that our children take with them into their future.

With the young, it’s ‘Monkey see, Monkey do’.

Being mindfulness to our patterns of speech not only helps to empower our children, but helps to show us the very nature of our internal wiring for ourselves.

Read article here…
3 Things a Parent Should Never Say to a Kid

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